Played a lot of Super Hexagon over the last weeks. One might say I got a touch obsessed. But then, it’s a game that invites and even demands obsession. How the hell else are you supposed to ever learn how to play it? Sadly, though, I got screwed in my quest for mastery.
You see, I was playing it a lot in the week or so leading up to our trip to Bangladesh, and doing fairly well after the initial misery of trying to comprehend how you could get anywhere in the game. “Completed” the Hexagon and Hexagoner levels (as in, made it over 60 seconds and promptly failed). But the Hexagonest level was killing me. Killing me. Plateaued, with a few friends it seems, around the 20 second mark._
But Bangladesh provided a welcome training ground. You do a lot of waiting in Bangladesh, you see. And you do a lot of waiting if you’re attending a wedding in Bangladesh. Things just take time, it’s best not to question what’s actually going on around you. There are wheels in motion you couldn’t possibly understand. Instead, just sit there and play Super Hexagon. So I did that. And I made progress, past 30 seconds even, and almost up to 40 seconds. Good times.
And then, weirdly, a kind of mirroring of the last time I was in Bangladesh for a wedding turned up. Namely, Rilla and I were catching the Chittagong-Dhaka train. Last time I was on that train I won the Superbowl in a rigorous playthrough of Tecmo Superbowl and it was surreal and awesome. So, clearly I would beat Hexagonest on this train. With the difference that it wasn’t just us this time, but rather a carriage-filling group of our extended family rocking along, eating snacks, singing, and generally having a great time.
And lo, I did do very well. Pushed the time up. And then the fateful playthrough came where I was oh so suave. Past 40 seconds. Past 50 seconds. Past 55 seconds. Offered a cup of tea. Failed at 56 seconds. And while it was a good cup of tea, I kind of feel like I’d rather have beaten Hexagonest. The flow was gone. No more beating it that train ride.
And then the Super Hexagon gods (or, more likely, the paranormal powers of Terry Cavanagh, reaching into the subcontinent) made me lose my iPhone while visiting relatives in Dhaka. And that was the end of the idea of beating that ridiculously tough game while in Bangladesh, which would have been such a nice story.
I really should have included a note with my insurance claim about the need for haste so that my skills don’t atrophy too much.