Converse For The Win!

In the continuing saga of me putting in the hours to progress Mass Effect 2 I ran into another one of those rare missions/quests where you do something other than hide behind a box and pound laser-bullets into the faces of your enemies. As it happens it was another “loyalty” mission – this time for the justicar.

Because the game is such a heavy rotation of shooting and then chatting to people about where you might find some shooting to do, it shocks me when I run into these odd little pockets of play. In the justicar mission you have to seduce (or, really,actively be seduced by) a particular, dangerously sexy alien woman. As you do. And you do this by remembering various kind of silly bits of trivia about her, “intel” that you gathered over the course of an investigation.

As with my previous run-in with one of these different missions I almost ran in half-cocked, assuming it was going to be a hide-and-shoot fest. But I became cautious when my accomplice continuously went on and on about how prepared I needed to be and was I prepared? and I should talk to her if I didn’t feel prepared enough. So I talked to her, and thus came to realise that there was all the stuff I was meant to remember. So I sat there in the living room memorising a virtual woman’s favourite band, drug, affection for violence, and other things along those lines. I sat there doing that. With my time, my precious time.

The exercise was a pleasing double-layer of cynicism in the end. My commander Shepard sat there rolling out the cheesy lines like “I’m really into ” and watching the woman soak it up. And I sat there on the couch reading the multiple-choice conversation options and thumbing the analogue stick toward the “correct” one, inwardly rolling my eyes. Nonetheless, she was seduced into seducing me and took me back to her place.

Where her mother killed her.

10 November 2010
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