95% Complete and Hating It

I don’t know if any of you get this, but I’ve hit my traditional “just about done” wall with my development of The Artist is Present. That is, the game runs, I’ve caught some big memory leaks, the art’s all in there, it really just needs some stress testing before I release it into the wild and… I hate the stupid piece of crap.

This has happened to me with every game I’ve made so far. Possibly it happens with other projects too, but I think I’ve felt it more strongly with the games – perhaps because they take a lot longer to make that the other kinds of things I make. Whether it’s this game, Safety Instructions, or GuruQuest, I get within sight of the finish line and then my face scrunches into a sour, disappointed black-hole of despair.

And it’s not just that I personally find myself “tired” of the game or something, it’s that I become convinced that the entire thing was a massively stupid idea and a tremendous waste of time. In this state (also known as: right now) I am sure that no one will ever like what I’m making, will see how thin and crappy it is, and will generally be totally and quite reasonably disinterested.

Damn it.

There’s not much to be done in this state but keep going, unfortunately. It would be absurd to scrap the game, and I also do try to remind myself that I once thought this idea was rather brilliant (what was I thinking? I don’t know). So I’ll finish it and get it out and start something else.

So that I can grow to hate that too.

(Postscript: Okay it’s not that bad – I still like making games and all that, but I am now deep in the zone of not seeing the point of the particular game I’m making.)

12 September 2011
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