Interview With The Guy You Almost Might Be
For one reason and another I’ve ended up doing heaps of interviews lately, mostly via email, some on the phone/radio, and one actually for a TV show in Norway! It is a supreme weirdness to have someone asking you questions, particularly when they are specifically questions about you and what you think is important, interesting, and the like. Partly this might feel extra strange to me because I’m from New Zealand where we pretty much don’t talk about ourselves, but I imagine that everyone must feel it to some extent.
It’s then even weirder that I find, particularly with the email interviews, that I have a veritable flood of things to say. This is entirely at odds with how I am in day-to-day life where I’m most likely to be the person listening and doodling in a notebook. I suppose the major reason for all this is that the interviews are about games, especially about making them, and it turns out that I have indeed formed extensive opinions and feelings about the subject. Not only that, but because I’ve been writing this blog about games for such a long time, I suppose I must have built up various sentences and arguments which I apparently still have recourse to in the course of answering questions.
The whole thing comes across to me as a kind of miracle. It’s much like lecturing actually – I go in feeling vaguely unworthy, then some switch gets flipped and I unload a swathe of talk and argument. Then the switch resets and I walk away wondering what happened, hardly remembering the process of delivery at all. It seems almost eerie, it’s like being replaced by a more knowledgeable and demonstrative doppelgänger. It makes you wonder a little bit about which one is you. But then you realise that you’re definitely the quiet one. Right?
Still kind of wish I had access to that other guy during ordinary conversations, though.