Learning (to Despise) Your Limits

You may not know this, but I am not the world’s most awesome game programmer. Even worse, I am decidedly not the world’s most awesome 3D modeler. You might even say I don’t know the slightest thing about 3D modeling. Or a host of other skills that are deeply involved in making interesting games. These lacks are very frustrating to me because they severely limit what I’m able to make, and those limitations are probably stunting my imagination. That is, it’s probably I don’t even think of games that would require skills other than the ones I actually have, or something close to them.

Well, okay maybe it’s not quite that bad. What actually happens is that I do think of a bunch of games I think would be super interesting and note them down in a list, and then proceed to not be able to make them. In aid of this I’ve been learning to make things for iOS, so I can play around with accelerometers and touch controls and that kind of stuff. But my brain seems more into thinking of ideas that would probably require me to learn something like Unity. And I’m all like, “look, brain, I don’t have time for that, alright?” But it doesn’t care and keeps thinking of 3D world-based games anyway.

So my solution is to complain about it here, on my blog. Wah wah wah. Obviously, obviously, the answer is to collaborate with someone else in order to reach for the stars and make more complex games in environments and art styles I can’t achieve for myself. But I am afraid of other people. You see, they have their own ideas and I want to use my ideas. My ideas exactly! And anyway, aren’t other people totally unreliable?

All of this is an attitude it would serve me well to lose. So I’m beginning to think that one theme for next year might be to track down some people to collaborate with on some projects, with the proviso that they’re at least the kind of people interested in doing the kinds of games I’m interested in doing. That is, kind of stupid, mean, and unfun (the games, rather than the people). Particularly people who might be able to make 3D word stuff happen, as I would dearly like to experiment in that domain.

Not so secretly, the big question will not be whether I can work well with others. It’ll be whether others can stomach working with me!

26 November 2012
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